Growing Backwards

As a little kid, I was always the top in my class, above that even. I was the perfect student (the one everyone made fun of), I knew the answer to everything (people hated me for it), I stood out to all of my teachers (classmates would tease me for it), and my parents were happy.

But now, that's all just a memory.

I slack of in school work (my teachers 'tsk' me for it), I can never figure anything out anymore (I consider myself to be an idiot), I'm not even sure if my teachers know who I am (besides as "that person"), and my parents are frustrated beyond belief.

It's like when you set your bar high in the beginning, there's no way to go higher than the top. The only pasth left is to fall all the way down.

Life isn't supposed to be like that though!

Others (parents, colleges, etc) expect that as one grows older, they will improve as they go. The possibility of a child growing backwards is absolutely absurd. Children are not supposed to know everything when they are younger and lose it all when they're older, they're supposed to learn with age and experience.

But then again, I've always been the odd one out;

That person that you see every day, but you don't know who he/she is.
That weirdo that's either hiding in a corner, jumping up and down, or yelling/hitting another.
The "emo kid" that needs a haircut.
Another face in the crowd.


As usual, I'm drifiting off topic again, hopefully though, this isn't too hard to follow along with.

I feel like my turtle. Able to climb to the top of the tank from the very start, using all possible resources (the lamp, the dock, the filter, etc), but then hitting the wire cover and falling all the way back down into the water. Then as I try again and again, I drift further away from my goal. The lamp is lifted, the dock is lowered, the filter pushed aside. Soon, I cannot even touch the wire cover anymore.

Just like that, everything is pulled out of my reach.

I watch other around me climb their way up: succeeding, growing closer and closer to that goal

But I'm just falling behind, all hope lost.

Falling all the way down
down

down


down



into the abyss.

Just watching everyone else succeed above me.